Chapter 39
TESSA’S POV.
My breath hitched in my throat and the world seemed to shrink to the space occupied by Adrian’s heated gaze. His words echoed in the hollow hallway, my heart was thumping faster than I could
control
“I love you,” he’d said, and the raw desperation in his voice resonated within me, a stark contrast to how I felt. I didn’t even know what to feel.
But those words seemed pretty far fetched. Years ago, I would have been happy but this time, hearing him say those words only brought back bitter memories, one’s that made my blood boil with determination.
The hand gripping my wrist felt impossibly tight, sending a sharp jolt of pain that was barely registered through the fog of my emotions. “Let go of me!” I spat, my voice a hoarse whisper.
“You’re not going to listen to me?” he demanded, his voice laced with a frustration that mirrored my own. I should be the one frustrated not you!
“No! I said that I don’t care!” I lied, my voice rising a notch in volume. The lie hung heavy in the air, a flimsy shield against the storm of emotions threatening to break through through me. Did I not care? My every instinct screamed the opposite, I did care. Too much, I cared so much that I didn’t want him to know.
“You don’t care?” He mocked, disbelief etching lines on his face, snapping me out of my thoughts. “Then why are you shaking, Tessa?” His voice gentled, his eyes softening to a familiar honeyed brown that had the power to disarm me, even now, I was practically shivering under his gaze.
“Because you’re hurting me!” A tear slipped down my cheek, a traitor escaping the dam I had so meticulously built. He saw the tear and his eyes widened.
“Tessa…” His voice trailed off, replaced by a sigh that was laced with weariness. He released my wrist, the sudden absence of his touch sending a shiver down my spine. Was it relief, or was it a weird touch of longing? Yep, I wanted him to hold me actually and claim me like he said.
“Why should I care if you’re with your wife?” I continued, the words tumbling out i by anger and hurt. “If you hold her and if you kiss her, why should I care?” I was ba but I wanted him to see my point.
ush, fueled reathing
His jaw clenched, and for a fleeting moment, I saw a glimpse of the fierce alpha wolf lurking beneath the surface. “Oh, freaking goodness, Tessa!” He exploded, surprising me with his outburst. “Why can’t you just listen to me for once?!”
“Listen to what?” I challenged, my voice trembling despite the strong facade I was trying to put up. “Your empty excuses?”
He shook his head in exasperation. “Alright,” he conceded, his voice losing its edge. I’ve told you
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Chapter 89
and I’ll tell you again, I love you and I always will regardless of what you say”
My breath hitched again, his words were a physical blow that stole the air from my lungs. Love. It was the second time he had said that. The word echoed in the silence that followed, demanding at
the truth. Did I love him? The very question sent a jolt through me. No, that wasn’t the response, question…should I love him? I did love him deep down but should I? I didn’t want to come face up with my feelings.
“You love… Giselle, everything we said to each other six years ago meant nothing to you, is that
call love?” I managed, my voice raspy with unshed tears.
what
you
“I was a total fool.” he said, his voice tinged with a bitterness that surprised me. I guess I was so stupid to believe that you would do that to me”
“Would you still believe Will if he brought an accusation like that again?” I asked unable to keep my curiosity in check.
“Of course not, I still regret the moment I did as he said till this day. He means no harm but I won’t ever listen to him when it’s something bad about you, I know you are always innocent. I must have been stupid to think that you’d betray me” Adrian said breathlessly.
My skin crawled, he still believed Will’s words. At least he had learnt his lesson from last time he did that.
“Do I get an answer?” He asked, peering into my eyes.
I looked down at my feet without replying to him.
His words hung in the air, raw and vulnerable. A million questions were in my head and the needed answers, but all I could manage was a disbelieving, “Why?”
Well, that was lame. And embarrassing
“Why?” He echoed, frustration flickering in his eyes.
“Maybe it’s because I realized that I’ve always loved you, maybe it’s because of seeing you again hast made me happier than ever and I want you to feel the same and Maybe… his voice lowered to a husky whisper, “maybe it’s the fire in your eyes that mirrors the strength of your wolf… the wolf 1 can feel calling to mine.”
His words sent shivers down my spine, a primal part of me acknowledging the truth he spoke. Daphne, the wolf within, had always been drawn to him, a connection I couldn’t always explain.
“You and Giselle,” I choked out, the name a bitter pill on my tongue. “She’s your mate, Adrian. I don’t want to be the woman to scatter a relationship. Honestly I didn’t care about that, I was just looking for an excuse. Any thing at all to avoid his question.
He let out a frustrated groan, running a hand through his already tousled hair.
“That’s not how it is, Tessa. I’ve been married to her for years now and in those years, I have not felt
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even the slightest emotion for her. You know why? Because I love you and even my wolf still feels a bond with you despite the fact that I…” He paused there unable to continue.
Hope flickered in my chest, fragile and tentative. Could this be true? Was there even a chance for us? A part of me desperately wanted to believe him, but the scars of betrayal were still fresh. What If he changed again?
“And what about me, Adrian?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. I had stupid questions and Adrian had the answer to each of them
“What role do I play in this…love triangle?” I muttered.
His face contorted in pain.
“Triangle? There is no triangle. Tessa. There’s only you, and there’s no Giselle. And the love I feel for you is something I can’t deny any longer.”
He reached out, a hesitant hand hovering near my face.
My breath touch again.
caught in my throat, caught between the desire to pull away and the yearning to feel his
Before I could make a decision, a loud growl erupted from behind me.
Daphne, my wolf, surged to the forefront, pushing my emotions aside. She wasn’t interested in words, only in the truth. She bared her teeth, a low rumble emanating from deep within me. She knew what I wanted deep down and she wanted me to say it but…too bad, she wouldn’t get the words out of me. I would only say it in my head, I wasn’t here for love yet I was finding myself getting tangled in emotions I had no control over.
Adrian flinched, his hand snapping back as if burned. “Daphne,” he said softly, a tremor in his voice. “She can sense it too, can’t she?”
I nodded, overwhelmed by the raw swirling within me. “Yes,” I whispered. “She can sense
your truth, just like she can sense my doubt.”
Silence descended again, heavy and suffocating. The air crackled with unspoken words, unfulfilled promises, and doubts
“What do we do now, what do you want me to say?” I asked finally, my voice bare.
hisper.
He stared at me for a long moment, his eyes searching mine. “I don’t know,” he admitted, his voice. devoid of the usual alpha authority. “But… I won’t lie to you anymore, Tessa. And I won’t lie to myself. I love you. All I want is your answer, the truth. You may not love me but I just want you to know that I do”
My heart hammered a frantic rhythm against my ribs. There were so many things to consider – 1 didn’t even want to think about them But one thing stood out, clear and undeniable. For the first time, I allowed myself to face the truth – I loved Adrian too.
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Chapter 39
“We need time…I need time actually, I finally said, my voice gaining strength. I wasn’t going to tell him how I felt…not now.
“Time to think, to figure out how to navigate this…” I gestured vaguely between us. “This mess.”. It was truly a mess, a mess of myself and my stupid fluctuating emotions. I don’t even know what I felt. One minute, I was blushing because of him then the next, my blood was boiling in anger. One minute, I wanted him to hold me and the next, I was pushing him away.
A flicker of relief crossed his face, a spark of hope igniting in his eyes.
“Time.” he echoed, a hesitant smile gracing his lips. “Then time is what we’ll have, Tessa. As long as
don’t shut me out. Please don’t shut me out. I want to be a part of your life, I want you to feel safe in my arms again and confide in me”
you
I couldn’t promise him that. This was a tangled web, and I needed space to untangle the threads. But for now, the truth was out in the open, and that was a start. With a deep breath, I nodded, a silent pact forming between us. I would try my best not to avoid him.
“I won’t,” I said, my voice firmer than I felt. Wow, even my voice is turning out to be more stable than me. “But for now… I need to get back to the med bay. Gabe might be back already.” I said curtseying
Disappointment flickered across his face, but he nodded in understanding.
“Of course,” he said, his voice tinged with regret. “I should… I should go check on the perimeter patrol.”
“Ohhh…” I drawled
The lie hung heavy in the air, but neither of us called him out on it. Perimeter patrol? Did he forget that he was the Alpha not a sentinel? We both knew we needed time… and a plan on what to do in our lives
“Do I get to see the children? I won’t if you don’t want me to but I’m just asking again-”
I cut him off.
“Go see them whenever you like. Just don’t make them get too attached and then break their hearts and please, they don’t know who you are to them truly, they’re too young to und nd that but I implore you not to tell them anything” I said.
“As you wish” he said, a smile lighting up his face.
“Also, please don’t drink again. I don’t think your wolf would be happy to loose control again. neither would you want to make another mistake” I said, a small smile on my lips also.
He looked down at his feet embarrassed.
“Good night, Alpha“
As I turned to leave, his hand shot out, grabbing mine once more. This time, his touch was gentle, hesitant. He looked at me, his eyes filled with a thousand unspoken emotions.
“Tessa,” he murmured, his voice rough with emotion and relief. “This isn’t over.”
I hesitated and squeezed his hand lightly in return, a silent promise hanging between us.
“I knew, not by a long mile” I whispered, before turning and walking away. I hadn’t told him anything but I knew in my heart. I loved him, I truly did but I needed to get myself together first.