Chapter 35
TESSA’S POV
The air crackled with unspoken words. His question hung heavy in the air and his eyes were burning into mine. I wasn’t thinking properly. A kiss? From him? He thought he still had the right to kiss me after he threw me to the wolves literally? The audacity of it all left me speechless and I found myself silent.
My traitorous eyes however seemed to have a mind of its own or maybe because he was so close, that my brain just wasn’t functioning properly. It was almost like I had lost control of my body. My eyes fluttered shut for a fleeting second and I imagined the sensation of his warm lips on mine, the warmth… I felt my body ache with a need that I didn’t know that I was capable of feeling. Shame washed over me and I snapped my eyes open immediately.
“Tessa?” He prompted gently, noticing the change in my eyes, the hesitation, he knew I was skeptical. “I wouldn’t dream of anything that you wouldn’t want” He quickly added and I felt my heart skip a beat at his words.
I couldn’t find the words, I knew the words I wanted to say but I couldn’t force them out my throat. I wanted to trust him, he seemed genuinely sorry but…could I let him that close again?
“Tessa?” His voice was laced with concern and hope, pulling me back into reality.
Finally, I found my voice. A hoarse whisper escaped my lips. “No” I blurted out, my voice laced with a note of finality that shocked me. My gaze darted away from his immediately, seeking refuge in the empty plate behind him.
“If that’s all you have to say…I have to go to the med bay, I have a patient I need to take care of, I have a lot of things to do” I lied. The lie tasted bitter on my tongue but the truth felt too raw, too vulnerable to be told to him.
Adrian watched me silently, his gaze saying a lot of things. I saw a flicker of se eyes Disappointment? Hope? Relief? Sadness?. I wasn’t sure what it was but.
After a long awkward silence, he finally spoke out
“Alright, let’s go. I’ll escort you” he said, his voice devoid of his usual authority.
‘emotions in his
de me tingly.
Relief washed over me at his words, I was thankful that he hadn’t said anything about my refusal.
We walked in silence but the air was thick with tension. Adrian’s presence beside me made me nervous but there was a strange comfort in it. We got to the med bay and we stopped at the door.
“Tessa, I want to ask you something again…what happened to you after you left the pack?” He asked, his eyes warm.
My eyes hardened at his words.
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Chapter 35
“You mean, after you rejected me and kicked me out?” I asked, the hurt and pain evident in my
eyes.
His eyes glazed over in guilt.
“I’m sorry…” He began to mutter.
“Sorry?!” My voice lightly higher than a shriek.
He looked down at his feet and I knew how he felt.
“You say you’re sorry and it’s easy for you but not me! I’ve had encounters with death, an attempt
check, was made on my life! I don’t know who to trust except Gabe!” I said, a tear rolling down. my the urge to throw myself into his arms so he could comfort me was gnawing at me and it took all my will power to control it.
“I there are no words to describe how I feel about doing that, Tessa. You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t think I deserve that but please just…please give me a chance at least to prove myself” He muttered.
“A chance? Adrian, I want to give you a chance honestly. My heart may be a battle field, Adrian but there is still a corner reserved for you, the part that wants to trust you…if you’re brave enough to fight for it” It was like I had no control of the words spilling out of my mouth. He had an effect on me and for some reason, I knew I would regret saying all these words later on.
A determined glint appeared in his
eyes.
“I will fight for it. I will fight for you, you know I will” He assured.
I felt a headache coming on.
“Call me a coward but I really don’t want you to fight for it, I want to be left al medic, why don’t you focus on your Luna?” I said, an unintended sneer in my
He gave a loud groan exasperated.
I’m here as a
“She’s not my Luna! You are, you always were and you always will be! I can’t let go of you again, Tessa. Not again!” He said.
I gulped, breathing heavily.
“She should be. Please don’t…leave her because you’re trying to pursue someone who can’t be yours” Something deep within me shouted at me to tell him, tell him that I cared, that I wanted him to care for me but my brain wouldn’t let me say it.
Everything was silent for a while and his hand hovered above my arm for a while and I braced myself, unsure of what to he was going to do next, he surprised me again.
Instead of the kiss I dreaded, he instead pulled me into a warm embrace. The unexpected action
and sent a jolt through me. The protest died on my lips. Part of me wanted to push him away
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Chapter 35
remind him of the boundaries I had set but another part, the vulnerable part melted into his touch.
“It’s just a hug, I’ll make it right. I promise” he murmured against my hair, his voice husky with an emotion I couldn’t pin. “Please don’t stop me from holding you, I want you to feel safe in my hands again” He said huskily.
His voice held a note of possessiveness that made me shiver. Did he forget everything I just said? Or did he just ignore my words? My fists clenched beside me as a fleeting thought wanted me to wrap my hands around him also. I was torn with the desire to reciprocate and the need to maintain. a safe distance.
After a couple of seconds which felt like eternity, he released me. moment; a yearning in his eyes.
His gaze held mine for a brief
“Good night, Tessa” He said softly before leaving me stunned at the door way.
Entering the med bay again felt like stepping into a different world, different from the world I was in with Adrian. The sterile scent replaced the lavender cologne on Adrian. Gabe was staring at some chats but he looked up upon my arrival.
“Well, look who’s back. Where did you go again, Tessa? I leave you for a few minutes and you disappear for an hour. Where were you?” He asked, his voice laced with concern.
“Just went round to check up on a few things and get some food in the kitchen” I lied, knowing my cheeks were red with a blush.
He looked me over, furrowing his brows in a scrutinizing gaze. “Well, it seems that something was enough to make you blush. Wonder what you
he said, a hint of amusement in his voice found in the kitchen to bring about such a reaction”
I felt my cheeks fire up at his words. I muttered a reply to him and rushed to Heather’s ward to check up on her.
Heather was a beautiful 11 year old girl, she was awake, her face pale but free of the feverish glow it had before. Relief flooded me to see her recovering quickly, I would keep her here for a few more days to make sure she is rid of the illness before she would be sent back to her family.
“Aunt Tessa!” She said, her voice weak but hopeful. “Will you let me see mama and papa?”
I felt my heart ache as I hated to lie to a child. “Not yet honey, just a little more time however you know that mama and papa send you messages wishing you to get well instead” I said softly stroking her head.
Her face fell but she nodded. I spent the next hour by her bedside as she dozed off, telling her stories and singing her lullabies,
When she finally slept off, a gentle snore coming from her, a wave of exhaustion washed over me. My body ached from the day’s event and my thoughts flew round, a jumble of emotions.
Chapter 35
I went out of her ward and noticed that Gabe wasn’t there anymore, I went into my small room and stood in front of the mirror, checking myself out
“Have I changed with just my appearance or has my attitude also changed? I feel the same” I muttered, looking at my hair which was growing rapidly.
My wolf, Daphne, stirred excitedly within me as I thought of Adrian’s touch, a stark contrast to what was in my mind. She paced restlessly in our shared consciousness, yearning for his touch again. But the logical part of me squashed those yearnings, He was off limits and I was ashamed that I had a fleeting thought of getting back together with him
I slumped on my bed and as the night wore on, sleep claimed me.
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The morning routine began with me making my rounds around the patients and giving them their daily herbs, after that, I mad a trip to the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked bread was a welcome change from the smell of the med bay. As I sat down to a plate of steaming pancakes, Paul eyed me curiously while the other helps went round taking care of little things.
“So… Medic Tessa, anything interesting happen yesterday?” He asked playfully.
I choked on a piece of pancake. What is it with people in this pack?!
“I don’t know what you mean. I simply had dinner here, nothing more” I said, my tone coming out harder than I intended.
He took the hint, bowed and left. I didn’t want him to think I was rude but he was getting nosy.
I went out of the kitchen after breakfast, and into the garden for some fresh air. I took in a deep breath, the scent of blooming roses filling my nose.
A familiar voice sliced through the silence. I didn’t need to turn round to know who it was, Daphne’s reaction said it all.
“Tessa? I actually wanted to speak to you” I heard Adrian’s voice say
I whirled round to look at him, my heart thumping loudly at the sight of him.
“Funny how we always meet” I said mustering a smile.
He tentatively took a step closer.
“Maybe the goddess is trying to tell us something” He said
My smile disappeared from my face and I kept mute
“Can we talk?” He finally said.
I took a deep breath to steady/myself for what ever he was about to say.
“Talk about what exactly?” I asked cautiously.
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Chapter 35
He looked round cautiously then back at me.
“About us, everything, we need to talk about it” He said, his voice low and heavy with emotion.
Oh goodness, no!
“About what you said yesterday…… his voice trailed off and his gaze dropped to his shoes for a fleeting moment.
I was curious but also suspicious. What game was he playing?
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“I don’t think we need to talk about anything again, Adrian. I told you yesterday, I don’t want this anymore” I said firmly.
He took a sudden step towards me and I felt myself take a step back on impulse.
“Tessa please, 30 minutes..just 30 minutes. Give me a chance to explain” He pleaded.
I stared into his eyes, searching for signs of deceit but all I found was regret and a vulnerability that I equally felt.
My gaze locked with his and I conceded with a sigh. “20 minutes, Talk”